wanita dan perasaan.

beberapa hari lepas, saya post video ini di facebook, video from MARIA ELENA ZARUL, yang bercakap tentang PMS. the video was interesting, as it shows different side of a woman when she is at that time of the month. the caption for the link was 'and how we wish, with all our heart, that guys would just understand when we are being Dr Jekyll & Mr.Hyde.'

then a friend of mine (obviously it's a he) argued about that my caption. berikut adalah argument kami berdua. 

so let's talk about women and feelings. 


jiwang karat.

when it comes to feelings, there is only two types of women in this world. the ones who express their feelings, and the ones who doesn't and keep it all inside. saya, as people already know by now, adalah seorang yang amat expressive. especially when it comes to relationship. 

when it comes to relationship, saya, seorang yang amat expressive dan suka tunjuk betapa saya sayang si dia. bukan saja nak mengada-ngada, tapi saya memang begitu. saya suka call si dia tengah-tengah malam buta just to tell him how much i love him. saya suka buat buat kad dan tulis panjang lebar on how lucky i am to have him in his life. saya suka type mesej panjang-panjang to tell him how much i miss him. even words are not enough to describe how much i love him. 

now, im sure most of you can relate to my experience here.

but sadly, not all guys can stand a girl like this. to some of them, perempuan macam ini, RIMAS. 

my first long-term boyfriend (kena cakap long term, pasal saya ada ramai short-term boyfriend :P) dumped me because of this. bagi dia, saya merimaskan. of course, it was just an excuse, he already fall in love with his adik angkat at that time.

dan lagi satu, bila saya overexpressive macam ini, my hopes are high, hoping that the guy will respond back. tapi lelaki, mereka bukan expressive sangat. dan bila the guy respond pendek-pendek, i got disappointed. 

tapi ada juga kawan saya yang macam kayu. dia cakap guys like to do the chase. so in her relationship, she never say how much she miss him or love him. semua bagi lelaki tu yang mula dulu. dia hanya respond bila perlu.she doesnt want to look too desperate. let the guys do the mushy part. and guess what happen? he left her for another girl, kerana si lelaki cakap, dia tak mahu perempuan yang macam kayu. 

so find a balance between being too needy and kayu. guys like to be needed. guys like to be your saviour. guys like it when they are the first place you go for comfort (but not confide eh. you have your girlfriends for that.) guys like it when you show how much you need them. but there is a time and place to do so. you need to show that you can also live on your own.

merajuk. 

aaahhh. yang ini, saya rasa memang sifat semula jadi perempuan. dan aduan semua lelaki. ramai lelaki (termasuklah kekasih saya sendiri) selalu mengomel, kenapa perempuan suka merajuk. 

guys, sebenarnya motif merajuk hanya satu; we girls want to see, how much you care about us, the extent you will go to prove how much you appreciate us. 

bukan kami nak sangat bunga rm120 delivery ke rumah, chocolate ferrero rocher 36 keping depan pintu, kad panjang berjela tulis how much you love us. we just want some reassurance how much you love us. we are feeling insecure, and we want that reassurance.

p/s: but of course, your effort will be much more appreciated if there is money and material things involved.:)

ya, motif merajuk itu sebenarnya saja untuk bermanja-manja.

*our promise to each other.*

memang, ada sesetengah perempuan yang amat-amat jarang merajuk. kau buat lah apa apa pun, this type of women pendam saja.  it's not that they don't feel anything. they do. they just prefer to keep everything bottled up inside, either they don't want to look weak therefore they put up a strong front so that others wont think of them as a wuss, or they just dont want to create more trouble and burden him by making such a fuss over every little thing. in other words, she is trying to be understanding.

mungkin lelaki akan cakap perempuan macam ini senang dihandle. tak needy, tak susah nak jaga, tak payah nak pujuk pujuk. a lot of guys i know say the same thing. siapa nak perempuan yang asik menangis macam pili bomba bocor when they can get a women who is in control over her own feelings and emotion and independent?

but beware girls, bila kita tak espresikan perasaan kita, lagi senang lelaki jadikan kita sebagai DOORMAT. yalah, buat apapun tak marah. datang lambat tak marah, tak call berhari-hari tak marah, asyik kerja tak ada masa nak dating tak marah, lupa birthday tak marah. after a while, because you are okay with everything, you become the last thing on his mind. and honestly, do you really don't feel anything when the guy do this to you? if yes, then lama-lama makan hati kau juga yang sengsara.

sometimes a guy needs a reminder. he needs to be told what to do. he needs to be reminded about what you want and how you feel. guys are clueless when it comes to feelings. tak guna bagi hint. just say it directly. kau kecewa dia tak call, then say so. kau kecewa dia datang lambat, then say so. if he loves you, then he is willing to hear what you feel and validate your feelings. 

if he doesn't, then time to move on.

so guys, NO we don't expect you to understand how we feel, or why we feel that way. just like we don't understand why you like boobs and porn so much. 

sometime we feel that way for no reason. you will NEVER understand, unless you has a uterus. you can call it hormonal imbalance, you can call it 'it's all in the mind' thing, it doesnt matter WHY. we are born with it. yes, we can try to learn to control it, but you have to accept the fact that sometimes, we just can't. just like you can't stop looking at other women's ass however hard you try to control it. if you can't deal with it, go find yourself a man.

just understand that underneath it all, the reason why we feel the way we feel is because we are feeling insecure with ourself.

so, every time we make a face or throw a tantrum or at that time of the month, just hold us tight and tell us how much you love us. 

problem solved.