Saturday, April 03, 2010

moving on.

"I have loved to the point of madness;
That which is called madness,
That which to me,
Is the only sensible way to love."
F. Sagan

beberapa hari lepas, aku berdiskusi dengan seorang rakan, tentang the meaning of moving on.
a break up is never easy. a break up is the most feared ending of a relationship.yet it happened to almost everyone. kalau kamu rajin bercinta macam sayalah.

i've been through lots of break-up.don't ask me how many.banyak. yang rasmi, tidak rasmi. ditinggalkan meninggalkan. yang memang ada ikatan, yang belum sempat sudah ditinggalkan. goodbyes,without goodbyes.yang tiada perasaan, yang pedih so-so, yang calar amat.

and each break up, brings me closer to another relationship.
itu cara aku move on. i have to.that's what people always told me. that i need to find a new guy to replace the one i lost.patah tumbuh hilang me REBOUND works.lagi parah aku pedih, lagi cepat aku cari pengganti.

but it doesn't mean, bila aku mulakan yang baru, aku sudah move on.because the sooner i move on to another relationship, the wider the wound will be, the more vulnerable i get,and i end up hurting myself much more.

so tell me,what is the real meaning of 'moving on'?

adakah bermakna bila kita berhenti menangis pasal si dia, kita sudah move on?
adakah bermakna bila kita bertemu bercinta dengan lelaki lain, kita sudah move on?
adakah bermakna bila kita bakar segala pemberian memori dia, kita sudah move on?

now i've learned, baru a few days ago.that the real meaning of moving on is,

when we are able to look back at old memories without feeling sad.

some people take a few weeks. some people take a few months. some people take a few years. 
some people take a few weeks to get over with. some people take a few months to get over with. some people take a few years to get over with.

some people, we never really get over with.forever.
unless you got Alzheimer.or bang your head to the wall and lost your memory.
we just learned how to live without them.
and that to me,is moving on as well.
i won't ever leave you.

even if you want me to.

how can i leave you, 

if you are always in my heart?

no matter where i run, 

i could never separate myself from my own heart.*

*dipetik dari post2 aku yang terdahulu.

p/s:ah, kalaulah menaip research discussion semudah menaip di blog!dan kalaulah jumlah aku menaip di blog sebanyak yang aku taip untuk research!


hazwanitcd said...

ahahhaha..... utk itu azy, akoo susah GILER nak move on weh......siap mimpi2 bagai.....damn terrible.....xtaw camner nak get rid of the thoughts....mwahahahaa...

azyan liyana said...

give it some time wani. mmg susah nak get rid of the thoughts.dia macam shingles dr herpes zoster, once you get it, you'll never recover.

mcm kita bincang, all of us need space and TIME to deal with this shit.perasaan hati bukan boleh dipaksa.

take one day at a'll get stronger and stronger.:)

Anonymous said...

hi my dear.
i'm totally agree with u!
masa dpt merawat luka.
love, Diyana. :)

azyan liyana said...

hey hey diyana!

hehe i kinda think of u too when i wrote this.dah lama xdengar cite's life?

by ur statement, i figured u r okay?msg me kat fesbuk with ur updates kay:)